um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
