im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
