Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
