You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Randomize
