We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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