The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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