I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
