Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
