dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
