he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
