You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize