Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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