I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Vodka?
Forever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
