So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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