I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
