He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
