I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize