I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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