Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
