he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
