help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
