Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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