We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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