Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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