I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize