Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
