I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
