i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
tell me about the eggs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
