You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
