I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
