it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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