He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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