Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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