I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Couch. On fire.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
