Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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