I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
