he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize