pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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