DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize