I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
