shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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