Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
