and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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