i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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