it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize