...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
