i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
