Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
