awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
