In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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