he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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