I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
