That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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