One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
