Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
