Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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