I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
