I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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