Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
