it was like his penis was on wheels.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i out mim tonsoeep
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
