Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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